New Party Tricks.

Here is where I really put my self out there on that limb I so often find myself hanging off. You would think I was a risk taker but really I am not.  I just think periodically  the inner skinny person gets control and says "Oh heck just go for it" while the fat person sits in the back ground shaking and eyes closed cause she is certain this wont end well. LOL

. I say inner skinny person cause when I got my adoption info the description of me was "2 weeks premature, 4 lbs, 4 0z with small features and china doll appearance, named Wendy"  " Who was orignally checked out by the Lund Home's staff psychiatrist before being sent to the local hospital" I am not sure why being checked out by a psychatirst first and not a ob/gyn doc strikes me as so funny but it does. I kinda like not following the traditional rules as they say. Perhaps that explains my occasional bending of rules but never breaking them.  Certainly now I know why I am usually early for everything...some things just never change no matter how old you get.

There are a lot of things that people with normal body weight don't give a second thought about doing. They perhaps take for granted they can easily do normal everyday things with ease. I am sure if I was of normal weight I would be the same way.

Reality is I am not, so there are things that I have to think about, like walking into a room and seeking out the chair that will hold me or is at least armless.  If there is none, then I need to figure a reason why I am still standing up when someone says here is a chair. Perhaps its best to sit on the floor. How do you explain that with out saying, " I am just to afraid to sit in your chair cause if it breaks under my weight, I will feel horrible and my already low self esteem will take a huge beating even if you the owner don't even care that the chair is broken."  Even the really small rest room stalls can be a challenge.

 How about bending over to tie your shoes. Um not with any grace. It ends up being what can I put my foot on to get it closer to my arms cause I cant reach that far around all this insulation, that would be fabulous if I lived in the ocean or perhaps Alaska but not so much here.

 Ever pulled up to a gas pump, leaned down to pull the gas cap opener then getting out of the car. Sure you say.  My response, I have to get out of the car, turn around pull the gas cap lever then proceed with the task at hand.

 How about going out to dinner or a buffet and thinking "oh I bet they are saying look at the fat person who ordered dessert, or look at how full her plate is, or I wonder how much food she will put on her plate.  Don't tell me you haven't ever had that thought, cause from time to time, even I have had that thought.

 How about going shopping with all your ideal body weight family or friends, spend a day at the mall. They want to spend 3 hrs looking at clothes in a store that the only thing you could possibly wear is earring, bracelet or socks. Since you love them and are interested in spending time with them, you spend the 3 hours helping them decide what they want and even though there might be a tiny moment or two of  feeling bored or my famous feeling left out,( yes that's the broken thinking I have lived with all my life,  yes now I know why, simply a different gene pool,what a liberating feeling, like an orange growing up with apples,  Never guessed it would be that, pretty much convinced myself over the years  I was just crazy and an odd duck,) you have a good time.

I could go on for hours and hours with all the different things but lets face it you the reader would be bored and I the typist would have carpel tunnel. I am sure if you use your imagination you can think of a few.

So when I say I have a new "Party Trick" it refers to the things I can now do after some weight loss that I couldn't do before. Like sitting in a chair bending down and tying my shoes, or giving myself a pedicure.  I can  put my leg up into my lap, yes I am even starting to have a very tiny tiny lap.   I can reach down and pull the lever for the gas cap.

I notice I am walking a little faster. Still get short of breath but I might just have to chalk that up to my asthma, give in and use my inhaler pre exercise.  I can climb a flight of stairs and still able to talk at the top.  :-)    

So those days when I am hungry and want to eat everything in sight. I take a moment to be mindful of all the positives and ask myself do I really need those extra calories.

Lets now go a little further out on the limb. I am ashamed to admit there was a time I thought that gastric bypass and lap band surgery were really a cheat or easy way to loose wt.  Well I was wrong.seeking forgiveness, that thinking was a mistake. I now know that these surgery's are simply tools used to assist behavior modification in making the appropriate changes for success. Its very clear that if you dont do the behavior modification and change ways of thinking and dealing with food, you wont lose an ounce. Well maybe one ounce but surely not two.

Thanks for reading...........

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