but it often takes a while. Like automatically bending over to pick up a pencil I just dropped, having a co-worker then give me a high five because I bent over from my waist and my feet were not 4 miles apart, they were actually almost together.
Realizing after only one piece of pizza tonight that I am full. Instead of eating 4 slices and still wanting more. Giving up diet soda and coffee and getting into loose leaf tea and flavored waters with out even missing the coffee. I miss the diet soda. That's not to say I wont have a cup of coffee now and then cause its still something I enjoy. I made the transition so easily, sometimes when I really stop and think about it, I am breathless, all the transitions since July simply takes my breath away. I have apparently done some letting go.
I am doing things at work that I never thought I would have the opportunity to do. Like running meetings, putting together my first power point presentation. Creative with helping patients problem solve. Enjoying a schedule I have a tiny bit of control over. Finding my potential. Again I have a distance to go as there are moments when I still feel pangs of inadequacy but they are less often and much shorter periods, I think that is normal of the human experience. So this life style change is really changing all of my life at this moment, no regrets in any of the decisions I have made, even the not so great ones because I have learned something about my self in each of those moments.
Pulling out of the closet some of the clothes I haven't worn in 5 or 6 yrs gives me pause to realize how blessed I am not because I can once again wear these clothes but because of all that's happened in the time span. A loss of a cherished lake front cottage and the acquiring of information that I was adopted, meeting my biological family while still maintaining a great relationship with my family. That might sound weird but I know what I mean. Giggle.
I can say that I am a published illustrator (Thank you D.Ann Hollon for your faith in me.) I think I found my art niche, ages 4-7. Let's face it, makes sense because I often eat with a baby fork or spoon now. I eat food that is soft like cream of wheat, yogurt, apple sauce, Italian ice and thin crackers are my go to foods these days. Seems fitting that my art career, should go in that direction too.
The dog likes to sleep in my emerging lap. Probably cause I am very soft and squishy as I am not skin and bones, yet. Probably never be skin and bones but that's just fine with me. Losing one pound a week is good for me too. This is not a race and I am not in a hurry. I don't care if others think it should be 5 lbs a week.
I am noticing that I am going for vegetables and dairy more than meats and high carbohydrate foods. Oh don't get me wrong I am no goodies two shoes with this diet. I have consumed a whole bag of cheese corn curls one entire weekend. However it was done in portions and not in only one or two sittings. I ate some cake also enjoyed some pie.
I vision my thanksgiving dinner plate with a teaspoon of many different things. It will be interesting to see how reality plays out. I am hoping my eating wont be the focus of the day. I worry my mother with say, can you have that, can you have this... just let me do my thing and I will be fine.
I am learning what I need to do, like going to a retirement party the other night. I took my thermos of peach momato (blooming tea) with me and leisurely sipped on that all evening. I wasn't hungry, I was happy and content to focus on talking with co-workers and enjoying the surroundings not giving much thought to the food. I did after several people asked if I was going to eat have a bite of chili and a meat ball. In the past it would have been the first thing I would have wanted to do. EAT.
I am thinking more about exercise. I am doing it more....it's still an area that needs some work. I am however walking up stairs. I can actually breathe at the top of the stair case but I will admit the arthritis in my knees has not noticed that I have lost weight.
I am very slowly finding my confidence and my voice. There are many area's where I am still shall we say timid, I am a work in progress and I hope to be always learning something new. I just realized that the timing of this particular post as it speaks to what I am thankful for is perfect as its almost Thanksgiving. Happy Holidays. I hope you can enjoy the day in the way it works for you.
Thanks for reading.
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